My NEW Nurses Prescribe Beer, Fruit & American Pride

I have been pecking away at food for days, since Thursday to be exact. That is 4 days. It has been going in, but it has not been coming out... do not stop reading, please... so in response to my frustration about this, my new nurses Brian and Suzanne concocted the best plan ever: Prescription Beer!

I will just say that less than 12 oz. of Prescription Beer produced amazing results that other prescriptions couldn't... or wouldn't dare! I am now on par with infants everywhere! I never thought of beer as a multi-purpose drink before. My nurses will probably not refill my prescription on a nightly basis, unfortunately. But you should toast to a medical miracle!

Today I took a walk with my mom and watched Ruthless People on VHS (Hyper-80's Bette Midler gets completely fanatical about exercising while she is held captive for ransom to super-rich husband Danny DeVito (who wants the kidnappers to kill her, and is awesome as usual) while a host of other familiar 80's faces completely misunderstand each other andcheat on each other. They don't make 'em like this anymore!

Sometime in the afternoon I got TWO gigantic edible fruit arrangements delivered to my front door! Brian's parents and my Aunt Jane and Grama think alike! So awesome! My mom and I made smoothies for lunch with 'em, and realized that we are going to have to eat fruit for every meal unless we get some help!! Please help us eat this bounty, we would love to share.... think smoothie , fresh juice, or fruit on a stick! It is funny to replace one metaphorical medical "fruit basket", with another very literal and delicious fruit basket. OMG... we just realized that the entire bouquet is edible-- even the leaves (kale) and the core (a whole head of lettuce)! Crazy! So, you should come over for a salad, too!

At 5:30 this evening I took a shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was my first shower in 6 days. I feel like Michael Phelps! Yes!

On that note, I will sign off for today. Do not hesistate to call or stop over, and do not feel bad if you don't. I have been into playing cards and games lately for as long as I can stay sitting up. I'm getting up to watch the inauguration tomorrow and I plan to have some kind of patriotic discourse in some form or another. Maybe I will pay my credit card bill's minimum payment!! Or file for state disability!!

So, have a great day!